UPDATE on Jay Campbell and the Jailhouse Madam (allegedly) Over at Matilda's

Update on the Lonoke Mafia over at Tildy's.

Don't Forget to Go to Matilda's For updates

I'm posting over there for a while. Matilda in the Rock.

Thanks to the Arkansas Leader for This about the Lonoke Mafia (allegedly)

www.ArkansasLeader.com

Thanks to the Arkansas Leader for this great photo job. Ain't the prosecutor a hottie? Ain't the others scary lookin'? BLOPS recon group is not trying to get in to see the prosecutor anymore as she is a busy lady dealing with this horrible mess in Lonoke. It is a city on edge. But, things seem to be calming somewhat.

While there today, we did see lots of suits riding around in g-cars. We suspect some sort of federal activity may be happening. Plus, Lonoke is really not a bad little place. Lots of friendly folks and happy kids milling around and a couple of great places to put on the feedbag at.

They'll recover, but they sure need a good dipping to get rid of the stench coming from city hall. Might be time for Lonoke voters to clean house, freshen up and start over.

Oh, and we saw some big shot reporters there too. We're staying tuned to the Arkansas Leader and even the Dem-Gaz. We have hopes they'll flush out a covey of dirty quail. Melroy (BLOPS home refreshing our batteries division)

Melroy is posting at Tildy's

Melroy's investigation of the Lonoke Mafia (allegedly) case is on-going over at www.MatildaintheRock.blogspot.com He will be back here after his current assignment concludes... 'Tildy (guest posting for Mel)

Lonoke Mafia (allegedly) Field Report

Agents have been reporting in to BLOPS mobile command somewhere near Lonoke. The following seems to be a consensus report:

One of the real victims in all this appears to be the poor mayor. It seems he bought into the charismatic and mesmerizing and self-aggrandizing ways of former and disgraced (allegedly) chief of police Jay Campbell. Nearly everyone agents spoke with had glowing comments about Mayor Privett but not so glowing ones about former and disgraced (allegedly) chief of police Jay Campbell. Many people appear very intimidated by the police force and its reputation since former and disgraced chief of police (allegedly) Jay Campbell assumed control. More to follow. Melroy (BLOPS field commander)

Lonoke Chief of Police Arrest Warrants

Former Lonoke Chief of Police Jay Campbell and his Jailhouse Madam (allegedly) wife's arrest warrants available here.

BLOPS Public Corruption Reporters Prepare to Head to Lonoke

In order to fit in, BLOPS always manages to come up with disguises that will allow us to blend in. Since we're headed to Lonoke to keep watch on things while the city is in turmoil, we will dress the part. Stay tuned. Melroy (BLOPS undercover command)

Oh, and don't think the fact that the Jailhouse Madam (allegedly) Kelly Campbell was wearing camo when arrested was lost on us...we just don't know how to talk about that since we're so fond of camo ourselves. We may just have to re-evaluate our wardrobe choices. M 

Eye in the Sky on the River

I'm pissed now. Someone leaked info about the BLOPS cam along the river. Dang that Big Max and his crew at the Arkansas Times for finding it and announcing it. But it is cool Check it out. Oh, and hey Traffic Babes- BLOPS did this just for you gals so you can check on the traffic! Here's the cam link. Melroy (BLOPS surveillance division)

The Lonoke Stinks Story and Updates

Tildy is on vacation so I am spending most of my time over at her blog which is where you will find all the info on Lonoke Police Chief Jay Campbell, his wife Kelly, Mayor Privett, Bailbondsman guys Cox and Norwood and the prosecutor's case against them involving sex, drugs, jailhouse sex romps, party barges, swimming pools, and lots of other exciting stuff.

A Good One from Gay David

After numerous repetitions of "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:
370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 cabled the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Very Revealing Thong

You gotta wonder who in the hell would tell this cow that the thong looks nice on her. Yeesh. Sights like these always make my stomach rumble. Melroy (BLOPS puking division)

BLOPS Tech Support from Bill Gates

Thanks Bill for being so supportive and helpful to our needs. Melroy (BLOPS Command) 

Blow Baby Blow!

How Damned Drunk or Stoned can you get?

From www.KTHV.com:

A Jacksonville man accused of smothering a baby girl after becoming intoxicated and resting on top of her has pleaded innocent to a manslaughter charge.

Twenty-five-year-old Christopher Johnson remained in the Pulaski County jail today on a 50,000 dollar bond, a jailer said. Friday, Johnson entered the plea to the Thursday morning death of three-month-old Jade McWilliams.

At the arraignment, Deputy Prosecutor Sarah Priebe said Johnson has a criminal history that includes convictions for theft, breaking or entering, and carrying a weapon.

The baby's lifeless body was found in a recliner at the child's home in northern Pulaski County. She had a large bruise on her side, and sheriff's deputies said Johnson was intoxicated on either drugs or alcohol.

This story stinks worse than Agent 420's boots after a .1 mile march. How damned incapacitated do you have to be to sit down on and smother a 3 month old baby? What about parents here? Where were they? Tragedy in a trailer... Melroy

BLOPS Wants a Rat Man!

This is How You Look--

To all you white kids who try to be black-- this is how you look to the rest of the world. Melroy (BLOPS get your shit together division)

Fly With The Eagles

I have posted this before, but it is just too cool to not share again. Turn up your sound and fasten your seat-belt for an exciting 4 minutes. Melroy (BLOPS Air Command Division)

What She Said-- HA!

A Wonderful Job if You Can Get It

There are several BLOPS agents who could very easily qualify for this job--

The Tantalizing Tones of the Tripods-- A Love Song for the Girls- It's sweet-

"Sack Lickin'" by BLOPS Agents 003 and 420

Here's a great little ditty from some of the BLOPS boys. Melroy (BLOPS- It is my burden to bear division)

Gas Bag Tilton

Thought you might enjoy this. I did. Melroy (BLOPS)

FAIL SAFE

Buck the translator and the President on the Hot Line with the Russian leader during a scene in one of the best movies ever. Them damned pinko commies are still lurking out there folks, but BLOPS is still on duty. Sleep safe. Melroy (BLOPS Command Mobile)

Everybody's doing Lists. Here's one--

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Your Monday Weather Courtesy of BLOPS Special Weather Agent Robinson

Showers and thunderstorms will develop Monday in advance of a cold front.

There could be a few severe thunderstorms over the southeastern half of the state. This would begin late Monday afternoon and continue through the evening hours, exiting the southeast corner of the state a couple of hours after midnight.

Damaging winds look to be the main threat,although there could be some large hail as well.

Modest instability and fairly sparse low-level moisture should limit the severe weather potential from what it would be otherwise.

Rainfall amounts are still very much open to question.

At this point, I will say amounts over the southeastern half of the state will average1/4 to 3/4 inch, with local totals over an inch. Over the northwestern half of the state, amounts should be around 1/4 inch with some totals around 1/2 inch. Some of this rain will occur with the showers and thunderstorms ahead of the front, but some of it will also fall in the cooler air behind the front.

On the very back edge of the rain, temperatures could become cold enough for some rain mixed with snow, or possibly a change-over to all light snow, in northwest sections Monday night into Tuesday morning. There is a smaller possibility that this could also occur in north central sections on Tuesday morning.

As noted above, this will be on the very back edge of the precipitation, so accumulations are not very likely.

I will issue the next message around 9:00 AM Monday.

John Robinson
Warning Coordination Meteorologist
National Weather Service, Little RockOffice
Web site: http://www.srh.noaa.gov/lzk

BLOPS OBTAINS NEW AMPHIBIOUS VEHICLE

We've added another great tool to our arsenal. Continue resting dear NLR we are vigilantly protecting our borders. Melroy (BLOPS Special Aquatic OPS command) 

Kiss My Oui Oui Ass you Frogs

The French: Classic Comments



"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." --Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf.

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." --Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." --Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." --Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --Regis Philbin.

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know." --P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." --John McCain, U.S. Senator

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." --Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either" --Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada." --Ted Nugent.

"War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II."

"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'" --Tom Brokaw.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?" --Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us." --Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." --Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once'." --Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq." --Dennis Miller

“The French Suck”—Col. Melroy Frumpleheimer (BLOPS Command)

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried." --Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining." --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

and finally...drumroll please...

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney - (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

Anyone Need a Limo for New Year's Eve?

BLOPS has gained access to a wonderful air-conditioned Town Car. The great thing about it is we have it equipped with a generator so BLOPS can blog from the road. Melroy (BLOPS Mobile Command Commander)

Hot Damn Piggly Wiggly for the Munchies

BLOPS Agent 420 recently went on an indefinite assignment in Colorado. Now it all comes clear. Read about what's happening among the stoners in the land of Coors Beer and Pikes Peak.

PEACE-HAPPINESS and Ribbit

For Immediate Release--BLOPS Obtains New Computer System

BLOPS Sr. I.T. specialist FNU LNU (this means "first name unknown" and "last name unknown" according to an asterisk in the news release) stands next to BLOPS' latest addition to its crime-fighting and terrorist repelling arsenal.

Colonel Melroy Frumpleheimer said, "Once again, BLOPS is ahead of the curve in our continual upgrading of our service capability and response techniques and counter actions in our quest to protect our protectees and counter insurge the insurgents." (This reporter is continually confused by the Colonel's comments.)

The new computer joins other devices such as the sound emitting repellant machine and the invisibility shield and camo hair pieces. End of news release. 

BLOPS Supports Support Groups

An anonymous BLOPS agent (right) congratulates Billy Jack Johnson of Snowbud, MO at BLOPS' recent "Support a Support Group First Annual Cook-Out and Horseshoe Contest". Prior to Billy Jack being adopted by BLOPS, he weighed an unbelievable 170 pounds. With a lot of tender loving care and Popeye's Fried Chicken and Dairy Queen Large Dip Cones, we are proud to say he is no longer a skinny rail and is well on his way to a happy and fat life. Melroy (BLOPS spreading Christmas cheer division) 

BLOPS' MOBILE COMMAND UNIT--(designated)

When BLOPS' lottery ticket hits, this is what we're buyin'. Unless one of our clients needs a good tax write-off. Melroy (BLOPS wish in one hand and shit in the other division) 

No Wonder BLOPS Agent 420 Missed the Shot

Another BLOPS agent snapped this photo. It's pretty obvious why "Mr. I Kill a Deer or Two Every Year" 420 ate crow this season! Melroy (BLOPS The Truth Hurts Division) 

Since Edna and Tildy have a Jesus Parade- BLOPS will sponsor this

Since the fun girls over at Tildy's seem to have had great success with their New Annual or maybe Semi-Annual or maybe monthly (depending on who you believe) parade, we at BLOPS will begin taking suggestions for a BLOPS fund-raiser. The first nomination is in. Either click on the title of this message or HERE. WARNING-- NUDITY ALERT, IF NUDITY OFFENDS YOU- DON'T YOU DARE CLICK HERE.

Another Tease from BLOPS' Weather Ninja

From John Robinson:

We will probably have some thunderstorms in Arkansas overnight tonight,and in the southeastern third of the state Wednesday morning. Severeweather is not likely, but there is a possibility of small hail in a fewof the storms. Rainfall amounts are not likely to exceed an inch.

Saturday night will present the possibility of some winter weather inthe state. The weather maps are suggesting that the air aloft will becold enough for snow or sleet over the northern two-thirds of Arkansas. However, temperatures just above the ground will be more marginal overmany areas. So, this is just a heads-up that there could be some winterweather in the state Saturday night, but things are far from certain atthis time.

FEMA's Still Doin' a Heckuva Job-- NOT

Click on the title to read how FEMA continues to live in a FUBAR world.

Yeeeeee Hawwwww Pass the Heinz 57 and the SAKE

Nips start to buy BEEF again, according to the New York Times. This is good for BLOPS as we have friends in the beef biz.

Gay David Sent Us a White Trash Christmas Message

Our buddy Gay David sent us a White Trash Christmas greeting. Mayhaps he thought he could offend us? We wear our white trashiness and mullets with pride in the BLOPS bunker---Melroy (BLOPS in the bunker command)

Beware the ICE

Alert- This weather event may end up creating very icy roads in the Central Arkansas area. You have been forewarned. If it's icy-- keep your asses home. If it's snow- go like crazy! Melroy

BLOPS COMMAND EXECUTIVE EMERGENCY ORDER

Under no circumstances should any BLOPS agent or trainee ever fart in your wetsuit. See BLOPS Agent 420's photo. Melroys (BLOPS Command)

Lest We Forget-

Please remember those lost and those who fought in the real war. Today at 3 at the State Capitol there will be a Pearl Harbor observance. Make it if you can. Pearl Harbor survivors are fast leaving our midst. They will never know the gratitude we feel.

Pride runs deep in us and actually, I hate to admit it, whenever I am around World War II vets, I get weak-kneed and misty eyed. I know I know. But, in all seriousness, I am very grateful. But, I still think Chimp Boy sucks. Melroy (BLOPS eternally grateful division)

Did You Go to Kroger and Get Eggs and Beer?

If you didn't, you should. Although we will not get what they have in this photo-- ain't it purty?-- Central Arkansas is still going to get dusted. As usual, the LR area will probably just get enough to turn normal drivers into fuckin' mouth breathin' slobberin' idiots.

From our BLOPS vantage point we will be watching all of this with great glee. My doggies, Scotch and Soda, are all excited. They love the snow. Both have been glued to weather weenie Ned Perme and weather idiot Tom Brannon for updates.

At BLOPS, we maintain a constant communication line with weather god John Robinson. (Who by the way is supposed to be on Commie Lynch's radio show today.)

One thing we do need to watch for in our area is that this weather event might start as freezing rain. Remember several years ago? Man, that ice storm sucked. Anyway, watch out for this although the spritzing will probably start after we are all safe in our humble abodes. One thing, if you do get out on the ice, remember, DON'T SLAM ON THE BRAKES YOU DILL WEEDS--- PUMP, PUMP, PUMP! (easy Gay David)

So, if you are expecting huge amounts of wet sloppy fun snow, move north. If you want our normal "crippling send in only essential personnel" snow, stay tuned. Hopefully when we all get up tomorrow we will experience that quiet blanket of frozen precipitation followed by sloppy ass mud holes and nasty ass dogs. Melroy (BLOPS on top of the weather division)

SNOW REPORT and UPDATE FROM BLOPS Meteorologist Emeritus John Robinson

Get your asses to Kroger--- NOW!


It still looks as though we will see some winter weather in Arkansas.

The precipitation could begin Wednesday afternoon in the western half ofthe state. Northwest sections should see only snow. Elsewhere, afternoon temperatures near the ground will be marginal for snow; thus,a mixture of rain, sleet, and some snow is more likely.

Wednesday night, the precipitation will overspread the state. In areas where the precipitation begins as a mixture, it should turn over to all snow except, perhaps, in extreme southern sections.

All precipitation should end from west to east on Thursday morning.

Snowfall amounts in the 1 to 2 inch range look most likely overall. The smallest amounts will probably be in southern Arkansas. In the more mountainous parts of the state, some 3 or even 4 inch totals could occur. A lot of these accumulations may end up being on grassy areas, cars, etc. The temperature of the ground is still fairly warm, so there will probably be some melting of snow on the ground, especially as the snow begins to fall initially. This should help keep snowfall totals somewhat below what they would be if this were the middle of winter. As far as the roads go, there probably will be some melting initially.

However, even with the ground temperatures being what they are, the snow may come down heavy enough at times to put some snow on the roads in almost any part of the state. This will be especially true as we get on into the hours after dark on Wednesday evening.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

From BLOPS' main weather guy- John Robinson--


"I will just cover the basics today as the weather maps have been far from certain about the winter weather threat that is coming up. A more detailed message will be issued Tuesday morning.

The winter weather threat should begin early Wednesday morning in the southwestern part of the state, spread northeastward during the day Wednesday and Wednesday night, then exit eastern Arkansas Thursday morning.

At this point, it looks like the northern half of Arkansas will have the greatest threat of winter weather. For the northern third of the state, it should be snow, with perhaps a little rain mixed in due to somewhat marginal temperatures for snow during the day Wednesday. For the central third of the state, it appears that snow or sleet will be most likely, but, due to even more marginal temperatures, there may be rain at times, especially during the day Wednesday.

As far as amounts go, where all snow falls, totals will probably be an inch or two, with perhaps three inches at some of the higher elevations." [...}

Santa Might be a Little Late This Year

 

Report From the Field

Sorry for the lack of postings lately. BLOPS is on a very special assignment. Will be back in the bunker soon. Melroy (BLOPS Mobile Command Special Assignment Division)

BLOPS Family Goes to Target Practice

Click here to see BLOPS firearms training.

Nekkid British Marines Beatin' Each Other Up

BLOPS recruits go through a similar hazing. Click here to see what we mean. Melroy (BLOPS Basic Training Division)

Freakin' Awesome Flight Video

Just click here and HOLD ON!

Great Workout Routine For BLOPS agent Wannabes

Click here to see an example of the grueling routine we put all BLOPS agents through.

Ho Freakin' Ho-

Click the title or here to watch a pretty neat light show synched with some of that there Trans Siberian music. Must say, it sort of put even my grumpy ole ass in some sort of spirit. Melroy (BLOPS tired as hell division)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

BLOPS Command today released a photo of their new anti-terrorist sound system. BLOPS Commander Col Melroy Frumpleheimer, USMC (ret) (- he wasn't really a colonel in the marines but he recently received a field promotion for meritorious work on behalf of an un-named "big shot client" and insists we use the title in all stories-) said in a release, "we are proud to offer yet one more mechanism which BLOPS offers to its clients and citizens to beat back the terrorist and commie incursions."

Frumpleheimer refused to answer questions about how the device works but did say it had been "partially inspired by the recent love boat captain's success in kicking the pirates of the seas of Somalia asses." It has been reported by persons in a close proximity to the suspected BLOPS bunker that they hear loud music coming from within. Police officials refused to comment. 

Martial Arts Befuddles BLOPS Trainee

BLOPS Jr. Agent begins his training for hand to hand combat. Click the title, or here.

BLOPS Agent 420 Family Photo for their Christmas Card

~~Urgent Announcement from the CDC Re: Bird Flu~~

The Centers for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to shit on someone's windshield.

Stern Says ASS on Letterman- Go tell the FCC

Last night on Letterman, Howard Stern said- "To be a success in radio, be a big pompous ass and have the answer to everything." Wonder if he was saying that the big commie bastard Lynch is a success? Bad as BLOPS hates to admit it, Pinko Lyncho must have something going for him to be so resilient in the local radio world. You can check him at WAIRadio.

Don't forget to check out LCDR Elkins up in the Fayette-Nam area too, he writes good and has some neat gizmos on his blog.

Meet BLOPS' Dog Agent- Scotch

Meet BLOPS' canine agent- Scotch. His sister Soda refuses to allow her photo be taken as she is our undercover canine agent. Scotch and Soda are glad we have finally moved into the bunker and out of their Aunt Matilda's house. Her cat was driving them crazy. Melroy (BLOPS Canine Training Division)

BLOPS Computer Class (Mandatory)

From the BLOPS training manual. Melroy (BLOPS Command Center) 

A Guest Blog From One of Our Beloved BLOPS Boys

I would really hope that the American people would be wiser after nearly a total of 12 years of Bush-ocracy than to vote in yet another BUSH! I find it, at least at this point, a very long shot, nearly impossible, for Jeb to be elected in '08. But, I am constantly amazed...and disappointed by the American people in political matters. But what do I know, if the evangelicals decide that God ordains that yet another Bush take control, if it's in God's ultimate plan, then who am I to disagree and think for myself. BLOPS Guest Blogger

Jeb Bush leaves open White House bid

Reuters

Sunday, November 13, 2005; 10:31 AM

BERLIN (Reuters) - Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, the brother of U.S. President George W. Bush, ruled out running for president in 2008 but left open the possibility of a subsequent bid in an interview with a German magazine published on Sunday.

Jeb Bush, who is scheduled to visit Germany this week, told Focus weekly he had not thought much about running for the office held by his father and older brother except to rule out the next election at the end of George W. Bush's second term.

"You should never say never. But for the 2008 election, my answer is definitely no," he said, in comments translated into German by the magazine.

Asked whether his answer meant a later challenge was possible, he said: "Let's say there's a vague chance."

Bush, 52, said he spoke frequently with his brother and visited the White House whenever he was in Washington but he said the two mainly discussed family matters or sport.

© 2005 Reuters

Great Letter to the Editor from Saturday's Dem-Gaz

Baiting is for cowards
Re luring a bear with dog food:

The baiting and conditioning of a wild animal with easy food for the sole purpose of killing it for a trophy is very close to the most gutless, cowardly act that I can imagine.

For sportsmanship, it ranks right alongside hunting at the zoo.

State Game and Fish regulations for such a hunt should require that the hunter wear “hunter pink” rather than orange, and at least one lacy undergarment.

PAUL COVERT Little Rock

Paul, we don't even know ye but we love ye. Melroy (BLOPS give 'em a fair chance division)

This Prevents Us From Having a Lottery

How can people like this keep us from having a lottery? Because they blindly do what idiots tell them to. Melroy (BLOPS hates dumb-asses division)

 

Badges- We don't need no steenking badges- Just a credit card or two and some prisoners to do a little totin' and liftin'

What the hell is going on amongst our gendarmes? Over in Lonoke (click on the title for an update on Jay Campbell and his mayor buddy from the Lonoke Democrat.) And below is part of the article from today's Dem-Gaz about the sheriff up in Conway. Maybe it's something in the water systems in Lonoke and Conway? Melroy (BLOPS Mobile Command)



Audit finds sheriff-office books amiss

BY MICHAEL R. WICKLINE ARKANSAS DEMOCRAT-GAZETTE

The Faulkner County sheriff’s office made unauthorized disbursements of $23,006 to pay for personal charges on Faulkner County credit cards and for college tuition and unearned leave compensation in 2003 and 2004, a state auditor told lawmakers on Friday. So far, $7,682 has been reimbursed to the county by Sheriff Marty Montgomery, a relative of Montgomery’s and one other county employee.

In addition, Montgomery and other employees still owe $15,324 to the county, said Kim Williams, investigative manager for the Legislative Audit Division. She said auditors sent their findings recently to Prosecuting Attorney H.G. Foster of Conway for “review and appropriate action.” He asked that a special prosecutor be appointed to handle the matter. Prosecuting Attorney Stephen Tabor of Fort Smith was appointed in June as special prosecutor. Tabor announced on Oct. 3 that the evidence didn’t support criminal prosecution of Montgomery.

The auditors recommended that the responsible individuals reimburse the county for the unauthorized expenses paid on the employees’ behalf, Williams told the Legislative Joint Auditing Committee. Secretary Tammy Weaver owes the county $12,411 for unauthorized leave compensation and nonbusiness credit-card charges, according to a schedule of unauthorized disbursements provided by Williams. The document showed that Montgomery owes $1,439, and Chief Deputy Steve Wallace owes $965. Administrative assistant Allison Hendrix, jail administrator Kyle Kelley, Maj. Perry Wyse and Sgt. Jack Pike owe $286, $171, $48 and $4, respectively, according to the document. Poor Pike took a screwin' on the spending spree.

In addition, the sheriff’s office paid $18,762 for inadequately documented credit-card charges by Montgomery and other employees, Williams said. Montgomery had $4,828 of these expenses, according to her report. How can we get in on some of this?

“Without adequate documentation, we were unable to determine if these charges were for legitimate business expenses,” Williams said. After reviewing Wal-Mart and Sam’s Wholesale Club invoices that totaled $13,785 and were coded as “jail food,” auditors noted numerous instances where food items purchased were in quantities too small to serve the jail population, she said. Party at the sheriff's house!

Auditors recommended that Montgomery, Foster and the county’s Quorum Court review the inadequately documented expenses, including certain jail food purchases, and determine the business purpose for each charge, Williams said. [...]

True Words Here Youngsters

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

14. You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to payoff.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

20. You can't remember who sent you this list.

Our Dear Agent 420

Oh NO! BLOPS Agent 420's bunnies go crazy and destroy "evidence" collected from a recent recon mission. Agent comments on mishap, "that wasn't supposed to happen! It's freaking insane, man!" Melroy (BLOPS I can't believe some of my agents division)

From BLOPS Agent 420

How to tell if ur a real Arkansan:

1. You can properly pronounce Ouachita.

2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.

7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

8. You measure distance in minutes.

9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

11. You know cow pies are not made of beef.

12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.

14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.

15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

16. You know everything goes better with 'Ranch'.

17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' " to send them to your friends.

Finally:
19. you are 100% Arkie if you have ever had this conversation: "You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr Pepper."

Lonoke Inmate Camping Trip-Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

Act 309 ban in Lonoke is extended

BY CHARLIE FRAGO ARKANSAS DEMOCRAT-GAZETTE

Reports that inmates fished, drove all-terrain vehicles and attended barbecues at the police chief’s house helped a committee of sheriffs and prison officials decide Tuesday to continue barring state inmates from working for the Lonoke Police Department. Was any alkyhaul served at the BBQ Chief Jay?

“There was a total disregard to the fact that they were inmates. These people weren’t in prison,” said Kelly Pace, a member of the Board of Corrections and the Act 309 Oversight Committee. But none of this was illegal?

Pace pointed to inmate statements to prison investigators detailing rides on ATVs, fishing trips and visits with family members. “I don’t think you had to read the policy to know what you’re doing is wrong,” she said during Tuesday’s committee meeting. ...

... At Tuesday’s meeting, Campbell and Privett both apologized to the committee, saying their failure to read the policy led to the misuse of the inmates.

“We have not denied it. We have been quite open and honest during the entire process,” Campbell said. “I do accept full responsibility for these violations.” Actually refreshing, but too little too late?

The committee said it would decide whether it would permanently terminate Lonoke’s program at its next meeting early next year. On Tuesday, 23rd Judicial District Prosecuting Attorney Lona McCastlain said that the investigation concerning improper sexual contact between the inmates and a “member of the general public” had not been completed.

Dina Tyler, Correction Department spokesman, declined to name the “member of the general public,” citing a judicial gag order. Most interesting and we can hardly wait for this report!

Hey Traffic BABES---

Hey traffic babes- STOP IT.

Tell your boss that you will NOT read one more Preparation H commercial. They are beneath those with your class.

Sure, we know lots of us use it, even though we hate to buy it at the store since you let everyone in line know that your ass itches, but still.

It takes me hours to get it out of my head after you read about ass cream in your sultry and sexy tones. Melroy (BLOPS bad visual image division)

Area of BLOPS primary concern and BLOGS

Here you see BLOPS primary protection zone.----->

However, we do go outside our normal sphere of responsiblity when requested, such as the Somalia Pirate Eradication Mission and our protection details of various cool politicos like General Suskie (www.PaulSuskie.com) and of course, we continue our bail jumper location program.


We also would like to point your attention to a fairly comprehensive blog list that someone is starting at www.ArkansasBlogs.blogspot.com It's a nice way to putter about the blogosphere. Even that damned commie bastard Lynch is listed. Yuk. But, so is Krile and LCDR Elkins, and we would not even recommend it if our girl ARMedia wasn't listed, but she is. Melroy (BLOPS High Command)

Six Flags Over Tikrit

OK. So if you don't want to go for a cruise in Somalia, how about a roller coaster ride in Iraq? Pay close attention to the last paragraph or two. Melroy (BLOPS travel agent division)


Iraq plans hotel and theme parks for a tourism boom

By Kim Sengupta in Baghdad
The U.K. Independent
Published: 07 November 2005

A £48m, five-star, 23-storey hotel rising in the city centre; an opulent palace complex being turned into a theme park; cheap flights to the picturesque "Venice of the east" - all the trappings of a country gearing up for a tourist boom.

Except the country in question is Iraq. With a new constitution and elections in the offing, officials insist there is a new beginning. The tourist board has 2,400 staff and 14 offices.

There has been a rise in the volume of travellers, with Iraqis either leaving or expatriates returning for visits. And there is also the continuous and steady number of foreigners, mainly contractors, coming in for the huge wages they can now command for working in such a risky environment.

The planned hotel is very much at an embryonic stage. The land - in the heavily guarded Green Zone - has been donated by the Iraqi government, and the finance is being provided by an Iraqi businessman.

Thair Feeley, of the Iraqi Commission for Investment, insists everything is in place. "It is not true that it will be a five-star hotel," he says with a flourish, "but a seven and half stars one".

The hotel is intended to have the usual accoutrements: plush suites, business centres, conference halls and a golf range. However, this is Iraq and Mr Feeley is not keen to make more details of the structure public for "security reasons". Nor is he willing to reveal the name of the businessman, again for "security reasons".

The building will have to be built to withstand mortar and rocket attack, just as the one major existing hotel in the Green Zone, Al Rashid, was built to do. Despite the carnage outside and its shabby appearance, the Rashid can still charge $150 (£86) a night.

Another plan is to turn Saddam Hussein's former palaces at his home town of Tikrit into a themed tourist destination. The complex, which contains 18 palaces and 118 other buildings, is surrounded by rolling gardens overlooking the Tigris.

Mohammed Abbas, a regional official, said: "Ordinary Iraqis were never allowed into these palaces. It will be an opportunity for them to see how their money was spent. International visitors will also be able to see the kind of lifestyle Saddam enjoyed."

Basra in the south has already officially declared itself open for tourism. But, says an official:

"Tourists should dress like locals and maybe dye their hair. And they should have armed guards and they should be always vigilant."

BLOPS Team Heads to Somalia and Points East

BLOPS Undercover Agents rehearse a boarding and conquering strategy to be employed in covert ops.

BLOPS has been activated by executive BLOPS Command Order. Several agents will take up residence on various un-named cruise ships sailing various seas. We will take no quarter, we have exterminate orders. We're not putting up with any of this pirate shit while we've got other important crap happening, so you've been warned you pointy-hatted pricks. You're such pusses we're not even sending our A team.

So, to our readers-- go ahead and go over to Africa and take a cruise if you like. You will be in safe hands and will never even know we're there. Melroy (BLOPS pirate control division)

BLOPS Baby in Training and Arkansas Blogs

Here is BLOPS Agent 1101's baby boy. Agent 1101 is training his child in covert disguises. We think he is off to a wonderful career in BLOPS.

Also, the Jage has located an under-construction site that is working toward listing all Arkansas Blogs. Click the title or zip over to:

www.ArkansasBlogs.blogspot.com


Melroy (BLOPS wondering when Tildy is coming home division)

Stubster draws a Viable Opponent

From the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
Michael Wickline


CABOT — Patrick D’Andrea of Cabot on Friday announced his bid for the Republican Party nomination for the U.S. House in the 1st Congressional District, saying he wants to be the district’s ambassador to corporate America. The 43-year-old probation officer in the Lonoke County Juvenile Department is the second Republican in the race in the northeast Arkansas district.

The other is Cabot Mayor Mickey “Stubby” Stumbaugh, 38. U.S. Rep. Marion Berry, a Democrat from Gillett, has held the seat since winning it in 1996.

D’Andrea said he decided to run because Arkansas was given little attention in the presidential election. “I am seeking this position to take a message to Washington and... that message is the 1st Congressional District of Arkansas has real people with real needs,” D’Andrea told about 30 people at Coffeelicious, his wife’s deli, in Cabot.

[...]

Anybody know anything about this guy? He sounds good...ex marine- ooooooooorah! So what if he is from somewhere else. Hell, Hilary rented an apartment in NY and now she's a freakin' senator, and arguably a pretty good one to boot. Melroy (BLOPS just-wondering division)

Bonus Photo From Recon Mission

Here's a bonus. You can see we have a fine vantage point over a field full of potential emergency MREs. Our bunker is nearly complete. Melroy (BLOPS Regional Command Mobile Unit)

 

From the Field

Along the trail that BLOPS is clearing for a super-secret summit attended by members of the BLOPS planning and negotiation team. This summit is so important several ultra-under ops commanders will also be present. These guys very rarely, if ever, leave their bunkers. Please disregard any sort of black-chopper activity you may note over Pulaski, White, Faulkner and Lonoke Counties. That is all we are allowed to disclose at this time but be watching for updates on this mission which may or break some important issues. Melroy (BLOPS Mobile Command Unit- somewhere you'll never find)

 

Some BLOPS Boys Begin Training for the Mercenary Olympics

A BLOPS conundrum

Here is a photo we recovered of BLOPS agent 420. We had ordered him to college to bone up on his writing skills since he originally was going to handle the blog. It is now apparent we should've handled arranging this as he obviously turned right and not left. We've never heard from him since and now this photo explains why. We suspect our former receptionist Robyn (see archives) may've done the mapquest search for him. Melroy

Catalog guy interviews Stubby

Click on the title to jump over to the Sears and Roebuck guy's website and read an interview he did with Stubby the Stubster. It's from back in September so we assume that is why there is nothing about Mayor Stub the Bub's glowing career as an LRPD mercenary and stunt driver. Also, wonder why the Sears guy's name is not on this blog? Guess him and Roebuck split up after all those years. Melroy (BLOPS state hospital security division)

Stubby Stubby Stubby-

Ok. Let's examine this stuff from the article in Tuesday's Dem-Gaz that Matilda sent me-- You need to read the entire article by Michael Wickline to fully appreciate ole Stub. Remember, this guy is running for Congress and is now the mayor of Cabot. - Melroy (Sorry for the bad spelling of the writer's name we fixed it.)

[...]

The file shows he was suspended without pay for:

One day in September 1997 for violating the department’s rules when he called a local radio station and made “inappropriate comments” while he was on regular patrol duties and responding to a disturbance call. Stumbaugh said he defended Republican Gov. Mike Huckabee against his critics in a call to the radio station. “I said, ‘the thing we have got to remember about opinions is opinions are like butt holes, everybody has got one.’” Ok, this one isn't much, but it does sort of paint a little of his character. We're sure this was during a conversation with our own PG-rated Howard Stern, Tommy Smith. We believe this was prior to Bling Mouth and Grumpy Old Man joining Tommy on the air.

Twenty days in September 1993 for violating the department’s rules and regulations and general orders when he failed to identify himself when requested by a resident at Manorview Court, where he was employed as a security officer while off duty. Stumbaugh “also used harsh and profane language to these civilians,” wrote then-Police Chief Louie C. Caudell. Caudell said Stumbaugh also failed to fill out an off-duty employment form and was working in the off-duty position while on “injured on-duty status.” Stumbaugh said he identified himself as a police officer, but he declined to give his name to youths in a cul-de-sac drinking beer, and he used some curse words when he told them to put their hands on the car. Here a pattern of not filling out off-duty employment forms shows up again- Oh, and that macho cop bullshit begins festering. And, if he was in an injured status at the cop shop, isn't taking his sick pay sort of like...ummm, stealing from the city and taxpayers?

One day in December 1991 for violating the department’s general orders when he accepted an offer from another officer to work at an off-duty job at the Master’s Inn and worked there two times without filling out the required off-duty employment form. See above.

Three days in October 1990 as a police officer for “improper or negligent handling of or negligent damage to city property” when he was involved in a traffic accident while operating a police car in the parking lot at 1309 Old Forge Road. Stumbaugh said the car slid on ice and hit a telephone pole. Hmmmm, reading between the lines here- could he have been playing a little? Perhaps one of those spinning around and around games? Nah, not a LRPD guy with as bright a star as this goober. UPDATE: Big Max over at www.arktimes.com has sort of an update on this. Turns out I was wrong in assuming his honor was playing. We stand corrected. But it's still a weird one, as you will see at ArkTimes blog. You might be able to click on the title above to get to it.

Five days in August 1990 for violating the department’s rules and regulations. Stumbaugh was intoxicated while off duty and attempted to get two people to leave the swimming pool area of the Napa Valley Apartments, where he was the apartment complex’s security officer, said Caudell. Stumbaugh also was involved in a disturbance with the two people, Caudell said. “I was not intoxicated,” Stumbaugh said. “I had been drinking. I was never given a breath test or anything like that. I was at my home off duty and I was called [that there was somebody in the pool].” Just close your eyes and imagine this scene- Swaggering and swearing Stubby doin' the little cop dance at the swimming pool.

One day in January 1989 for “improper or negligent handling of or negligent damage to city property” when he was involved in an accident on Interstate 30 at Sixth Street when driving a police car. But, did he get a ticket like the rest of us would've?

Two days in January 1988 as a police cadet for violating the department’s special orders for taking a gold chain from a prisoner while working in the detention center and placing the chain in his pocket instead of storing the chain with the prisoner’s property. Stumbaugh said he put the necklace in his pocket when another inmate was having a seizure and he called for an ambulance. He said he forgot about the chain that until the police called him at home and asked about the necklace. Let's see, 1988, seems the pattern started years ago huh? And I'm sure he never thought a crappy ole skell would actually complain that someone stole something...after all, that guy was a thief and shithead, so who cares? Seems somebody did. How in the hell did this guy stay a cop for so long? Thin blue line? The blue wall? Bad publicity for an already rocky reputation the LRPD has?

“I think his record speaks for itself,” said Gabe Holmstrom of Little Rock, executive director of the state Democratic Party. He declined further comment. Nice...

Clint Reed of Little Rock, executive director of the state Republican Party, said it’s a shame that “the politics of personal destruction has started in this race.” Stumbaugh was elected as Cabot’s mayor after his opponents brought out these issues, Reed said. “This is politics as usual for the Democrats as they seek to avoid a real debate on the issues,” he said. Typical. But what do you expect him to say really? I do think that the politics of personal destruction has started, but Stubby started it by exercising less than ignorant judgement and actions, not the democrats. And Cabot knew about all of this? If they did, then they deserve him. Not to drop the race bomb here, oh hell, I am dropping it I guess, but I have to wonder how many of the complaintants were black? Shit, that wasn't fair I guess. But, just for curiosity's sake, I'd like to know. Debate on the issues? You don't think a man on the edge is an issue?

We didn't even get into the other stuff in the Wickline article, like the bankruptcy-- Melroy (BLOPS same ole shit division)

Holy Crap! From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Texas Pastor Electrocuted During Baptism

WACO, Texas — A pastor performing a baptism was electrocuted inside his church Sunday morning after adjusting a nearby microphone while standing in water, a church employee said.

The Rev. Kyle Lake, 33, was stepping into the baptistery as he reached out for the microphone, which produced an electric shock, said University Baptist Church community pastor Ben Dudley.

Water in a baptistery usually reaches above the waist, said Byron Weathersbee, interim university chaplain at Baylor University.

Lake was pronounced dead at Hillcrest Baptist Medical Center, nursing supervisor Pat Mahl said. The woman being baptized apparently had not stepped into the water and was not seriously injured. [...]

Memo to dunkers- Water and Electricity do NOT mix. To hurry to your God, do what this guy did... Melroy (BLOPS rubber boot division)

Memo To Balls Brummett

Hey- Balls Brummett is beatin' up on bloggers. Said we are cowards and hide behind anonymity and are not real newsmen. He did say some nice things about Big Max at Ark Times Blog which we suspect he did because he is afraid Max will sit on him until he sees the light, in this case, probably that bright light at the end of the tunnel Tildy is always talking about.

Anyway, up in the description of this blog and sis's over at Matilda, it clearly states we are satirical in nature and if anyone takes what we do as serious news is nuts anyway. So Balls- kiss it! Melroy (BLOPS Balls Brummett fan club division)

About this Melroy Has One Thing To Say- Well, more really

What’s this—a candidate for attorney general who wants to keep candidates like himself from accepting campaign donations from public utilities? Talk about acting against his own financial interest. . . and merely because the attorney general is bound by law (and, we hope, conscience) to represent the consumers against the utilities in rate cases. Gunner DeLay clearly has some new and strange ideas. He’s a Republican, which may explain it. The former state senator from Fort Smith clearly doesn’t know how things are done in this state, and have been done for years. When it comes to choosing between an abstract principle and real money, cold cash has long held the advantage. The Democratic candidates don’t seem to have any big problem taking money from the utilities. What conflict of interest? Taking the money isn’t going to affect how they deal with the utilities, or so they assure the public. There’s something unsettling about folks so sure of their ethical probity that they don’t mind being led into temptation. But what th’ heck, this is the kind of arrangement that’s been accepted for so long in Arkansas politics—the way the one-party system used to be—that it sounds strange even to hear a candidate question it. Imagine: putting principle before money. What kind of politician can this DeLay fellow be? It’ll be interesting to see how a candidate for attorney general with such strange new ideas fares as the campaign heats up. Choosing an ethical principle over a campaign contribution? We all know Arkansas politics has changed over the years, but has it changed that much?

The above is an editorial from today's Dem-Gaz. About it I say this- Blow me. What the hell are they thinking over there in the editorial room? Send a reporter to look at ALL of the candidate who've taken money from utilities and we believe you'll find as many Rs as Ds. Sheesh. Hurry up NLR Times, go daily. I'll subscribe. And I will issue a Command Order to all BLOPS team to subscribe as well.

Cookies and a Toy and an Empty Airport

So let's see here, on the news this morning I hear that an entire airport was shut down after screeners mistook a cookie and a toy as an Improvised Explosive Device. What in the HELL is going on here? I've never felt as much in danger since the time Tildy had a carbunkle on her ass- she was very testy during that time and we all walked on egg shells for a month. Cookies after all contain lots of trans fat and depending on the type of toy (after all many are very scary- see photo) I guess you could make some sort of bomb, but I'm not sure. Melroy (BLOPS continually confused about the TSA division)

Hey Assholes--

Hey Dickwads- See this contraption? When it's red, it means STOP, not, "go like hell you can squeeze four more cars through there". If you've never been t-boned, or t-boned someone, it's just a matter of time. I guess all the fucking cops have decided stop light violations are not that important.

I sat in my truck and watched 6, not 4, not 2, but six fucking cars fly right through a red light one right after the other. It's only a miracle that more people aren't killed. So what is up with that coppers?

Why don't some of our young pup reporters just pull up at an intersection and do an informal count of how many cars run the light. Hell people do it right in front of police, a plain car parked there would not create a problem at all. And you TV dopeheads should set a camera up and watch. For a very good visual story, sit in your car on the US Pizza parking lot in Levy and watch the intersection at 34th and Camp. Oh, do it at morning rush hour to get a real show. I'm trying to figure out how to pick just the right car, preferably a Lexus, and let them cream me and then I'll get rich on insurance, well, me and the lawyer with the pretty smile will both get rich. Melroy (BLOPS wish I were a cop for two hours division)

We're Gonna Miss Summer

Here's a photo BLOPS recon snapped one day while at a pool party. We can't divulge the models identity but suffice it to say, they blog at another site. Melroy (BLOPS heading to puke division)

Rooskies Attempting a Comeback?

Click the title to read how the youth of Russia are attempting a political comeback by increasing their numbers. Melroy (BLOPS Rooskie Watch Center Commander)

Rove Tries Desperately to Save His Job by Visiting Smirking Monkey Man at Camp David

AR Media Movie Casting Nearly Complete

Click the title to go look at ARMedia's movie site. It is nearly cast. Melroy's part will be played by one of his heroes. Melroy (BLOPS public affairs division)

www.armediamovie.blogspot.com

A Four Wheeler and a Serving Wench all in one Visit

Just caught on the teevee that Searcy Yamaha will give you a free wench with the purchase of a Yamaha four-wheeler. BLOPS would highly recommend you request the serving wench. Brunehilde was our waitress at the last OctoberFest we attended and a fine wench she was!

Hurricane Anything and Smirking Monkey Man's Thoughts

Hurricanes aren't really so bad for some people. Click on the title to see what we mean. Melroy (BLOPS early hurricane warning division)

Saddam's Lawyer victim of BLOPS? Nah

Click on the title to read the USA Today story about the kidnapping and killing of Saddam's lawyer. Hmmmmm-- I am urgently trying to account for all of the BLOPS assassination teams to be sure one of them did not go all Broken Arrow on us. Most of BLOPS team simply wants to be turned loose to deal with the mess in IRAQ. We are not entering into that melee because the Smirking Monkey Man would take the credit. We could do it, we just won't.
Melroy (BLOPS internal investigation team)

What?

One of the BLOPS recon teams spotted this sign on a downtown LR church door while they were on patrol near the Clinton Library yesterday. They swear it isn't doctored. I wonder if the right wing nutz know this is happening right here in river city? Yikes. At a church no less. Melroy (BLOPS double entendre division)

Storm Alert- First of this Event

A cold front will probably push some thunderstorms into Arkansas tonight. However, the only chance for severe weather should be onThursday as the front moves farther into the state.

At this point, it appears the risk for severe weather would be over the northeastern quarter of Arkansas during the afternoon and early evening hours Thursday. Even so, chances of severe weather look to be low, because instability and low level moisture will be limited. Thus, I think if any severe weather occurs, it will be isolated. Damaging winds would have a somewhat greater chance of occurring than large hail.

Rainfall amounts exceeding an inch tonight or Thursday would be very isolated.

The next message will be issued Thursday morning by 9 AM.

John Robinson
Warning Coordination Meteorologist
National Weather Service, Little RockOffice
Web site:URL=http://www.srh.noaa.gov/lzk

~~URGENT INTERNET ACTIVITY INFO~~

ALERT ALERT ALERT

Click on the title for a very urgent message about internet email traffic.

URGENT URGENT

Windows Assistant even helps Idiots

Bill Gates and the boys designed a special version of XP for POTUS Idiot Smirking Man.

Edna Models her new Thong

In this artist's rendering, dear old Edna tries her new thong recently purchased in NOLA by the BLOPS recon team...well, it really wasn't purchased, we looted it. After all, who the hell needs a thong in NOLA, it ain't there no more. Well, hardly ain't there. Melroy (BLOPS thong assessment division)

BLOPS Obtains Special Equipment for Protection Duties

Here is a photo of BLOPS commander Frumpleheimer testing a new special ops goggle and helmet. The device has not been approved for use by the general public, so don't even bother asking. It is a highly classifed piece of equipment with a direct satellite up-link for instantaneous simulcasting of BLOPS Special Orders, night vision, cell phone, DVD player, aroma therapy and XM radio. It also has a voice stress analyzer as well as X-Ray capabilities and is air conditioned and heated. Oh, it's bullet proof too. Melroy (BLOPS Beta Testing Division)

URGENT BLOPS PRESS RELEASE-- from Special Ops News

BLOPS Announces Movie Part- For Immediate Release--


Today it was announced that Dog the Bounty Hunter will be cast as Melroy (BLOPS Commander) Frumpleheimer in ARMedia's up-coming entry for Sundance and Cannes.

Today, Melroy said, "I am pleased casting and YGA (Click title to go to her site) have settled on Dog to try and illustrate my importance on the big screen." The grizzled but ruggedly handsome Melroy went on to say, "Although this is a small role, it is pivotal to the success of the film. Without BLOPS keeping an eye out for YGA, the likelihood of foul play, or at the very least, an attempt at implication in the Plame affair, is not at all out of the realm of the reality of possibility."

(Your reporter didn't quite understand all of that, but it sounded important enough to quote.)


Melroy Frumpleheimer has been the commander of BLOPS since his retirement from an elite special forces unit about which he says, "I can't discuss any of this." It is known that BLOPS seems to have branches in several areas of the state as well as region. A special team spent two-weeks in New Orleans recently assisting with "intell gathering and special ops stuff" according to a BLOPS news release.

Other clients of BLOPS, in addition to several that were blacked out, include "General Suskie special protection detail" and "YGA ARMedia Productions" which appear to be BLOPS only clients. Besides BLOPS and now acting as a consultant and bodyguard to a big-time writer and producer, Frumpleheimer also is a bail bond bounty hunter and resides in Argenta with his twin sister Matilda and his faithful dogs, Scotch and Soda. #30#

Could It Be? Could It Be? Report from LCDR Elkins' site

LCDR Don Elkins over at www.ArkansasTonight.com gots a little gossip making the rounds in D.C. about good ole Fuck Yourself Cheney. Appears he might've. Melroy (BLOPS Ha Ha Division)

ARMedia is Casting a Movie

ARmedia Girl is casting a movie. I'm thinkin' this guy ----> could possibly pull off the role of Melroy. I know, I know, he's a sucky actor, but this role would not require much dialogue, just a lot of commie ass-kicking and rubbing YGA's tired shoulders while keeping an eye out for any fat or old journalist/politician/commentator/blogger that might have harmful intent in their thoughts. Plus, he's a low-talker. Woe be the day anyone attempt any sort of assault on our girl. Melroy (BLOPS protection division)

BLOPS News Release- Elkins promoted to LCDR

Urgent- for Immediate Release---

Don Elkins of www.ArkansasTonight.com has been promoted to Lt. Commander (LCDR) of the BLOPS news division. His astute handling of a matter involving honorary BLOPS member ----> J.D. is cited by BLOPS Commander Melroy Frumpleheimer as the reason behind the battlefield promotion. Zip over to his sight to check out the story that started LCDR Elkins on his new career with BLOPS. #30#

Tildy, while you're in Tunica, Keep Yourself out of WENDY'S- They have a hard time knowing when their building is burning down--

Thanks to the Commercial Appeal via commie pinko bastard Pat Lynch for Alerting BLOPS to the "Stupidest Fucking People of the Week" for this week. Damn if they ain't about the most ignorant fuckers around...perhaps they can get appointed to some fire prevention board by W. And, whadda ya wanna bet the WENDY'S chain gets a little extra attention from Memphis' Bravest Fire Marshals?


Wharton, others at Wendy's flee fire

Smoke 'alarms' didn't signal employees to act

By Chris Conley

When Mayor A C Wharton complained Sunday afternoon that the smoke inside the Wendy's restaurant on Union and Avalon had become obnoxious, employees were polite -- they just wouldn't do anything about it.

A smoldering grill fire, the smoke's source, eventually flared up and engulfed the kitchen. The restaurant is closed for now.

There with his wife Ruby and 10 cub scouts and boy scouts, Wharton complained about the smoke when he placed his order, and later asked management to vent the place.

After 45 minutes, three complaints to employees, and two calls to the corporate offices in Georgia, employees announced the kitchen grill was on fire and told the many customers to leave.

The air inside the restaurant had turned gray.

"I was trying to be polite, but I was getting frustrated," Wharton said Sunday afternoon in a still-scratchy voice. "People were coughing ... it could have been tragic if people had panicked."

Manager Ann Walker said at first she thought the meat grill was just unusually smoky, and cut it off. But instead of subsiding, the smoke increased. Then she realized the grease was on fire.

Firefighters had no trouble dousing the flame once they were notified, Battalion Chief Dale Lock said. They cut a hole in the roof to vent the building, but the damage was extensive once the fire was out.

An automatic alarm to summon the fire department didn't work, Lock said.

Wharton said he and his wife had taken the scouts on a tour of the mayor's office and the Shelby County administration building, and then to Wendy's for a treat.
Wharton said everyone -- the restaurant employees and the call-takers at corporate -- were as polite as could be.

"I just couldn't get them to do anything," he said.


Copyright 2005, commercialappeal.com - Memphis, TN.

Piss on Tildy's Image of Ar Media Girl-- Here's BLOPS' mental picture of her

Matilda posted some little cutesy photo of my girlfriend YGA over on Tildy's site. Here's how she really is. Taking on the bigshot fat asses of the staid and tired local media. She's welcome at a BLOPS meeting anytime, and unlike Gay David-not that there's anything wrong with that, we'd share a foxhole with her in a flash. Melroy (BLOPS ArMediaGirl fan club division) you can click on the title of the message to go to her kick ass blog

BLOPS Candidate Endorsement is Working---

Suskie Raises $190,000 for Attorney General Race
More than 700 People Contribute during 1st Reporting Period

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: PATTI JULIAN (501) 834-8683
October 14, 2005 EMAIL: pjulian@paulsuskie.com

North Little Rock City Attorney Paul Suskie announced that he raised more than $190,000 in contributions for his campaign for the Democratic nomination for Arkansas Attorney General.

“I am truly grateful for the support Arkansans have shown my candidacy. More than 700 people have contributed to my campaign in a very short period,” said Suskie. “The outpouring of support motivates me and gives me extra energy on the campaign trail, and more importantly, will allow me to communicate with voters all across this great state.”

The campaign report being filed with the Secretary of State’s office shows $180,339.05 in direct monetary contributions and $10,351.00 in non-monetary (or in-kind) contributions for a total of $190,690.05. With $25,245.23 in expenses, Suskie finished his first filing quarter with $155,093.82 in cash on hand.

“I am thankful to all that have given their time and money. A statewide campaign will only be successful with the support of thousands of people from all seventy- five counties of this state. I will do my best to make the people of Arkansas proud of me as a candidate and to ensure my campaign is focused on issues that will make a difference in their day to day lives.”

Suskie has served in the North Little Rock City Attorney’s office since 1996. In June of this year he returned from a six-month activation with the U.S. Army for a tour in Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. Suskie and his wife Erica have both worked in the Attorney General’s Office. They have two children.


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An Old Fashioned Flick to Help Teach Your Kids About Puberty and other mushy stuff

Click the title to view a great little movie to help every parent explain puberty to their little hair sproutin' curtain climbers. This is educational only and contains explicit sexual images for specific educational audiences only. Melroy (BLOPS legal opinion division)

This is the Before Tiny Little Thong Photo--

Zip over to Matilda's at www.matildaintherock.blogspot.com to see what this looks like since she went on the Elvis Presley low-any kind of good food diet. Melroy (BLOPS photo editor division) 

BLOPS Team Member is a Hero

BLOPS Hurricane Survival Kit

Toilet Paper........................................check
Bud Light...........................................check
Keystone Ice........................................check
Budweiser............................................check
Red Dog.............................................check
Misc. other bottles of alcohol......................check
Piece of plywood to float your chick and booze on...check

BLOPS Team Member Billy Joe Grisweiner (r) is seen making a very brave rescue of his BLOPS babe. Billy Joe is our BLOPS Recon Officer from NOLA. This photo was snapped after he'd made a run back to his command center to make a rescue of his honey and to get their valuables. Melroy (BLOPS training commander)

BLOPS NOW HAS AN AMPHIBIOUS DEFENSE DEVICE-or ADD

Sleep Soundly Argenta, BLOPS is ON RIVER PATROL

 

A Beautiful Sunrise in Argenta Town

 

Turns Out That Thang Has More than a HEMI in it

Right Wing Whacker Dobson's Thoughts on Miers--- Unedited Transcript

Click the title to go see the Right Wing Rev Whacked Out Dobson's thoughts on Miers.

Melroy (BLOPS still trying to figure this shit out division)

Meet the Duggars- All 18 of 'em

Meet the Duggars from Northwest Arkansas. Although the photo predates two or three young'uns, they had their 16th this week. Sort of gives a new meaning to home schoolin' as they have as many in their family as I had in my senior class! I guess they're a nice enough family, but holy moly man, put a cork in something.

Zip over to Big Max's place to read a little of this fertile story. www.ArkTimes.com click on blog.

Melroy (BLOPS worn out from just thinkin' about this division)

And an update, from the Thursday Democrat-Gazette at www.ardemgaz.com here is their lead of a story about the Duggars and super fertile daddy's desire to get back into politics as a state senator. Word is, his house will be its own senate district.

"As his family continues to expand in number and popularity, Jim Bob Duggar is getting back into politics. Duggar and his wife, Michelle, nationally known for their big family, welcomed their 16th child Tuesday. They’re also gearing up for a state Senate race next year. Duggar of Tontitown is a former state representative who made a failed bid for the Republican nomination for U.S. Senate in 2002. He said he’s not ready to announce his candidacy yet but is planning to run for the District 35 seat. His close family friend, Sen. Jim Holt, R-Springdale, holds the position now but is making a bid for the Republican nomination for lieutenant governor." [...]

Stand By for Hilarity

If you have 8 minutes to spare and want to guffaw like James Lee Witt going to the bank with his FEMA contract proceeds, click on the title of this message. WARNING- It's R-Rated, mostly for language so be sure if you are at work you have your XG#499 (or equivalent) headset on. It has been reviewed for offensive content and sensitivity issues by contibuting writer Gay David. (BLOPS employees just went through highly intense cultural and diversity training.) GD says it is not offensive to him, but in fact reminds him of himself.

You might know that our new BLOPS receptionist/research assistant Myrtle (see below) sent this link to us after we requested her to do an internet search of "installing covert cameras". This is the only link she found and sent to us during her four-hour search. She then took a 2.5 hour lunch citing "extraordinary expenditure of caloric reserve"- whatever in the fuck that means. I think we've met our match in this young lady.

Melroy (BLOPS losing control of reality division)

Hey Big Max, Give This a Slurp--

Earlier this summer Big Max at www.ArkTimes.com touted us on Fresca, a blast from the past. Well, BLOPS has now discovered Noveau Fresca "Sparkling Black Cherry Citrus".

Ummm, Give it a try Big Max and it's purty damned tasty with a little shot of the commiest of all drinks, VODKA! Melroy (BLOPS I think I'll get drunk division)

BLOPS Finds a New Receptionist

Meet BLOPS' new receptionist, Myrtle. She really doesn't dress like this but decided to give us a preview of her halloween costume. She can type and takes dictation and throws a helluva right uppercut. The last gal was a looker and pot head. Myrtle is one of the two-- guess which? Oh well, she swears she won't do no tokin' till after hours. One thing for sure, she does lots of munchie grabbin' during the day. (That's one of them there euphor...ewpher...shit, one of them double meaning thingies). Melroy (Needs a dictionary division)

If you are a Dog or Kid Lover-

Click on the link to go to the cartoonist's website at www.dogeatdoug.com . This guy is clever. Great cartoons. He was just picked up by the Denver Post. Melroy (BLOPS needs an occasional laugh division)

Dog Comes to the George Lopez Show "Bra"

We're sorry but last week's George Lopez Show was rescheduled.

WATCH DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER ON THE GEORGE LOPEZ SHOW

October 12, 8PM PST/EST
On ABC

"Dog" Makes His Acting Debut!

Dog Plays Lopez's New Neighbor -- It's Hilarious!

Check out the photo.

From Today's BLOPS perimeter Patrol

Purty Huh? Bet you wish you was with us on patrol this morning. Melroy (BLOPS Perimeter Patrol Command)

Religion's In the Hands of Some Crazy Assed People- Jimmy Buffett and Benny Hinn

And today's favorite evangelist is--- Mr. Hair Club for Men Himself- Benny Hinn! Ain't he grand? Jimmy Buffett surely was thinking of he and his ilk when he penned the words-- "Religion's in the hands of some crazy-assed people." Melroy (BLOPS debunker division)

WHAT?

What was the name of the diner where Barney's sometime squeeze Juanita worked? First one gets a free BLOPS remote phone scan.

URGENT- DUCT TAPE FEMA GUY ISSUES BIRD FLU COUNTERMEASURES

According to news reports, the bird flu could cripple the nation-- even worse than Katrina/Rita. So FEMA director issues urgent orders for flu countermeasures to be taken by all Americans. While at the grocery store, pick up some duct tape and plastic as well, just in case Osama gets uppity again.

Melroy (BLOPS disease center division)

POTUS REV GOV? Never.

It ain't gonna happen Mike. You can do all you want outside our little state, but it ain't gonna happen.

There is a revolution happening in the donkey party buddy. Not just the donkeys, but the elephant one too. People in the U.S. are fed up with the righteous crooks mixing religion and politics--and war. We do know you're not a crook, but you can be a little righteous, you're a freakin' Baptist minister after all, and that's what they do. We at BLOPS suspect you already know all that and it's the reason you are pulling your wagon to the middle of late. That's OK too. You needed to a little bit.

You are a smart guy though, we'll have to give you that. And you made Tildy and the girls very happy when you stood up to the whackos who want to put electric fences around our border and round up all the brown skins, and you even made us proud when you fired some zingers about the FEMA screw-ups of late. It was good to see you stand up to Smirking Man, even a little. So we know you have a soul and we know you care about poor people and blacks, on that issue there is no doubt.

But, be honest with us about all this travel. It's OK that you are in your ending days as governor and you want to do a little sight-seeing and get your ego stroked like a, well, governor, when you visit other states. Heck, now that you're a size 44 and not a 60, you kind of make us proud-- except when you tell those goofy jokes. Please, stick to being the courtly southern gentleman you are. Why don't you start a blog? It's fun.

Oh, and we really do like Janet, a whole lot as a matter of fact, despite what Delish says. Melroy (BLOPS schizophrenia division)

PS- Better change ole Alice Stewart's M.O. gov, she ain't representin' you well. M.

Lest We Forget

Bomb Blast in Iraq kills six more of our Marines. Click the title to read the story. Bring 'em home Smirking Man. Melroy

Keepa U Hands Off- If'n you know what's good for ya--

[...]

"It’s no surprise that Little Rock’s bigs were talking about giving the mayor more money and power right after North Little Rock’s mayor, Pat Hays, lured the Arkansas Travelers across the river. The aforementioned bigs can look across the river and see a city government that works. They can see all. Folks in Little Rock envy all North Little Rock gets done thanks in large part to a full-time leader who knows how to use his clout.

But let’s get our priorities straight: Responsibilities first, money later. That’s not so radical, is it? Hey, you want radical ? Here’s radical: Merge the twin cities and make Pat Hays mayor of the whole shebang."

The above quote is the last two paragraphs of an editorial in today's Democrat-Gazette. Hell no! You South North Little Rockers keep your hands off him. BLOPS Com Cent predicts he'll be remembered as one of the best politicians of our times. We say- HAYS for GOVERNOR!

What the F?

So can someone who knows tell me why in the hell this new TV season is so full of science fiction and fantasy crap? Hell, there are so many of them that I am running all the plots and shows together. Cripes. When it comes to fantasy, Melroy prefers simple stuff, like, My Favorite Martian.

Tildy loves the crazy crap cause she already thinks she is Sylvia Brown, Jr. HA. Melroy (BLOPS feet soundly on the ground division)

Iraqi Coalition Casualty Count Website

Click on the title to go to a website which monitors deaths in Iraq. Sobering. Melroy

About the Stupidest Damned Lawyer in the World- from the Carroll County Arkansas Newspaper

Bomb closes Carroll County Courthouse

What appears to be an attempt to introduce a bomb into evidence wound up with the county courthouse being evacuated early Thursday afternoon.

According to eyewitnesses, the state had already rested its case against Mike Koster, of Green Forest, whose charges involved possession of a bomb, and possession of methamphetamine and marijuana and related paraphernalia....

After court had reconvened at about 12:15 p.m. Thursday, Koster's attorney, Cindy Baker is reported to have tried to introduce the suspected bomb through defense witness Scott Tucker when Circuit Judge Alan D. Epley asked to see it.

Witnesses indicated that someone stated the device had not been disarmed, and that Epley handed the suspected bomb to Bailiff Tim Garrison, who in turn gave it to Sheriff's Department Detective Ralph Gordon, stating that "the judge said to get this out of here."Gordon apparently took the device out the front door of the courthouse and placed it in on the curb, where it remained until the bomb squad of Springdale Police Department arrived....

The courthouse, the courthouse annex, Berryville Library and Arkansas Revenue Office were evacuated, but the Berryville Senior Citizen Center, protected by the library and conducting a yard sale, remained in operation.

Saying she wanted "to be bombarded," Gail Deweese of Dirt Poor announced a 20-percent-off bomb sale until the bomb squad arrived, and the staff of La Cabaña was offering evacuees free drinks.

Jeezus H. Carumba. This has got to be the stupidest damned thing I've ever seen, not to mention the stupidest fucking defense lawyer in the world.. Can you imagine taking a live piece of ordinance into a courtroom?

Melroy

Well, What Have We Here?

Click the title to be taken to the USA Today story about how the Army is handling some Army Reservists who refuse to fight in this "war" of the Smirking Man and his co-conspirators. Whadda y'all think it means? Melroy (BLOPS tired of this shit division)

OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Official Announcement:

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!

~ALERT- Missing FEMA Advance Team Located~

BLOPS located one of the missing FEMA advance teams. Seems their GPS device failed and they ended up along the shore of Lake Ouachita rather than NOLA. BLOPS sent them on their way with an old-fashioned compass. Melroy (BLOPS re-location division)

BLOPS Command Fogged and Forgotten--

Our BLOPS receptionist, Robyn, has been "forgetting" to do a lot of stuff lately. Every time we left her when we went on missions, nothing got done. Today we sat up a "granny" cam and lo and behold, now we know why she never gets shit done. Melroy (BLOPS looking for a new receptionist division)

You're Doin' a Heckuva Job Brownie--From the NY Times

Stumbling Storm-Aid Effort Put Tons of Ice on Trips to Nowhere

By SCOTT SHANE and ERIC LIPTON

WASHINGTON, Oct. 1 - When the definitive story of the confrontation between Hurricane Katrina and the United States government is finally told, one long and tragicomic chapter will have to be reserved for the odyssey of the ice.

Ninety-one thousand tons of ice cubes, that is, intended to cool food, medicine and sweltering victims of the storm. It would cost taxpayers more than $100 million, and most of it would never be delivered.

The somewhat befuddled heroes of the tale will be truckers like Mark Kostinec, who was dropping a load of beef in Canton, Ohio, on Sept. 2 when his dispatcher called with an urgent government job: Pick up 20 tons of ice in Greenville, Pa., and take it to Carthage, Mo., a staging area for the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

Mr. Kostinec, 40, a driver for Universe Truck Lines of Omaha, was happy to help with the crisis. But at Carthage, instead of unloading, he was told to take his 2,000 bags of ice on to Montgomery, Ala.

After a day and a half in Montgomery, he was sent to Camp Shelby, in Mississippi. From there, on Sept. 8, he was waved onward to Selma, Ala. And after two days in Selma he was redirected to Emporia, Va., along with scores of other frustrated drivers who had been following similarly circuitous routes.

At Emporia, Mr. Kostinec sat for an entire week, his trailer burning fuel around the clock to keep the ice frozen, as FEMA officials studied whether supplies originally purchased for Hurricane Katrina might be used for Hurricane Ophelia. But in the end only 3 of about 150 ice trucks were sent to North Carolina, he said. So on Sept. 17, Mr. Kostinec headed to Fremont, Neb., where he unloaded his ice into a government-rented storage freezer the next day.

"I dragged that ice around for 4,100 miles, and it never got used," Mr. Kostinec said. A former mortgage broker and Enron computer technician, he had learned to roll with the punches, and he was pleased to earn $4,500 for the trip, double his usual paycheck. He was perplexed, however, by the government's apparent bungling.

"They didn't seem to know how much ice they were buying and how much they were using," he said. "All the truckers said the money was good. But we were upset about not being able to help."

In the chaotic aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, Mr. Kostinec's government-ordered meandering was not unusual. Partly because of the mass evacuation forced by Hurricane Katrina, and partly because of what an inspector general's report this week called a broken system for tracking goods at FEMA, the agency ordered far more ice than could be distributed to people who needed it.

Over about a week after the storm, FEMA ordered 211 million pounds of ice for Hurricane Katrina, said Rob Holland, a spokesman for the Army Corps of Engineers, which buys the ice that FEMA requests under a contract with IAP Worldwide Services of Cape Canaveral, Fla.

Officials eventually realized that that much ice was overkill, and managed to cancel some of the orders. But the 182 million pounds actually supplied turned out to be far more than could be delivered to victims.

In the end, Mr. Holland said, 59 percent of the ice was trucked to storage freezers all over the country to await the next disaster; some has been used for Hurricane Rita.

Of $200 million originally set aside for ice purchases, the bill for the Hurricane Katrina purchases so far is more than $100 million - and climbing, Mr. Holland said. Under the ice contract, the government pays about $12,000 to buy a 20-ton truckload of ice, delivered to its original destination. If it is moved farther, the price is $2.60 a mile, and a day of waiting costs up to $900, Mr. Holland said.

Those numbers add up fast, and reports like Mr. Kostinec's have stirred concern on Capitol Hill, as more wearying evidence of the federal government's incoherent response to the catastrophe.

At a hearing on Wednesday, Senator Susan Collins, Republican of Maine, expressed astonishment that many truckloads of ice had ended up in storage 1,600 miles from the Hurricane Katrina damage zone in her state, apparently because the storage contractor, AmeriCold Logistics, had run out of space farther south.

"The American taxpayers, and especially the Katrina victims, cannot endure this kind of wasteful spending," Ms. Collins said.

Asked about trips like Mr. Kostinec's, Nicol Andrews, a FEMA spokeswoman, said: "He was put on call for a need and the need was not realized, so he went home. Any reasonable person recognizes the fact that it makes sense to prepare for the worst, hope for the best and place your resources where they may be needed."

Unlike an ordinary hurricane, which may leave a large population in still-habitable housing but without power for days or weeks, Hurricane Katrina destroyed neighborhoods and led to unprecedented evacuation, Ms. Andrews said.

"The population we ordered the ice for had been dispersed," she said, "which is good, because they are out of harm's way."

Ms. Andrews said FEMA realized it must improve its monitoring of essential items. The new report by the homeland security inspector general says that after last year's hurricanes million of dollars of ice was left unused in Florida because FEMA had "no automated way to coordinate quantities of commodities with the people available to accept and distribute them."

Ms. Andrews said, "There are programs in the works that will help us better track commodities, not just ice, but water and tarps and food." One system would use bar codes and a global positioning system, "so literally we will know exactly where every bag of ice is."

Some people, including Michael D. Brown, the former FEMA director, have questioned why the agency spends so much money moving ice.

"I feebly attempted to get FEMA out of the business of ice," Mr. Brown told a House panel this week. "I don't think that's a federal government responsibility to provide ice to keep my hamburger meat in my freezer or refrigerator fresh."

But ice, even Mr. Brown agreed, at times plays a critical role, like helping keep patients alive at places like Meadowcrest Hospital, in Gretna, La. After the hurricane hit, the air-conditioning went out and temperatures inside climbed into the 90's.

"Physicians and staff attempted to cool patients by placing ice in front of fans," Phillip Sowa, the hospital's chief executive, wrote in an online account of the ordeal.

Archie Harris, a Wilmington, N.C., ice merchant who serves as disaster preparedness chairman for the International Packaged Ice Association, said that while FEMA had been criticized mostly as being underprepared, on the ice question it was being criticized for being overprepared. "FEMA can't win right now," Mr. Harris said. "Can you imagine what people would say if they'd run out of ice?"

Not all of the ice delivery trips, by an estimated 4,000 drivers, ended in frustration. Mike Snyder, a truck driver from Berwick, Pa., took an excruciating journey that started in Allentown, Pa., on Sept. 16 and did not end until two weeks later, on Friday morning, when he arrived in Tarkington Prairie, Tex.

The electricity was out in the small community. When Mr. Snyder pulled up in front of a local church and unloaded his ice, residents were overjoyed to see him. "I felt like I did a lot of good," he said.

Truck drivers who pinballed around the country felt differently.

Having almost lost his Florida home to a hurricane last year, Jeff Henderson was eager to help when he heard that FEMA needed truckers to carry ice. He drove at his own expense to Wisconsin to collect a 20-ton load and delivered it to the Carthage staging area.

Then he, too, was sent across the South: Meridian, Miss.; Selma; and finally Memphis, where he waited five days and then delivered his ice to storage.

"I can't understand what happened," Mr. Henderson said. "The government's the only customer that plays around like that."

Mike Hohnstein, a dispatcher in Omaha, sent a truckload out of Dubuque, Iowa, to Meridian.

From there, the driver was sent to Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana, to Columbia, S.C., and finally to Cumberland, Md., where he bought a lawn chair and waited for six days.

Finally, 10 days after he started, the driver was told to take the ice to storage in Bettendorf, Iowa, Mr. Hohnstein said. The truck had traveled 3,282 miles, but not a cube of ice had reached a hurricane victim.

"Well," Mr. Hohnstein said, "the driver got to see the country."

His company's bill to the government will exceed $15,000, he said, but the ice was worth less than $5,000. "It seemed like an incredible waste of money," he said.

The next time FEMA calls for help, it may find the response far less willing. After two Universe Truck Lines drivers spent more than two weeks on the road to no purpose, the company decided it had had enough. When a FEMA contractor called and asked if the company could take some ice stored in Fremont, Neb., to Fort Worth, Tex., Universe said no.

"Our trucks had been tied up for 17 days," Sean Smal, a Universe dispatcher, said. "We couldn't take another trip like those."

BLOPS ComCent PHONES OUT OF ORDER

Attention. There will be no BLOPS phone or door traffic from now til Monday. TV Land is airing a 2 Case of Beer Marathon all week-end. Over and out til Monday! Melroy (BLOPS Mayberry Division)

Edna Bought BLOPS Command a Present= A new water cooler- WE LOVE IT

Where's Melroy You Commie Pinko?

If you think the man-made objects in this photo are simply light towers, think again oh peacenik--

These are strategically placed radio beacon towers equipped with laser defense devices. Just another little thing BLOPS does for you while you are sleeping soundly in your yuppie little Denver Mattress pillow beds.

Commie Lynch is supposedly working on a big "investigative" piece about BLOPS. HA. Good luck you goober. Look up the word covert ops in the Funk and Wagnalls and you'll see a picture of ole yours truly. We see you, you'll never see us.

Try to find me in this photo...see, ya can't do it.

Melroy (BLOPS chief covert operative)

The Reason Melroy Doesn't Fight Bulls- Or Cows for That Matter

Crisp Fall Air and Little Fallen Leaves- Fall is Upon Us

BLOPS Recon Team Photo of proof that Fall is Here. And We Predict a Cold-assed Winter folks. Mark it down. Lots of snow too.

An Interesting Post Over at Ninja Poodles Place

Click on the title to learn more about the guy who had the balls to tell Dick Cheney to "go fuck yourself." Melroy (BLOPS Morning Command Center)

Listen Up you Movie Pirates!

"Star Wars" Pirates Nabbed


The dark side has again been thwarted.

Federal authorities on Tuesday charged eight people in California with illegally copying Star Wars: Episode III--Revenge of the Sith and distributing it over the Internet. [...]

Decroted Piece of Crap Tom Delay Indicted

Asshole got indicted in Texas by grand jury!

Weather Service Final This Event

The Ouachita Mountains Near Lake Winona-BLOPS Recon Team Photo

There will be a small chance of severe thunderstorms in Arkansas this afternoon and this evening as a cold front moves into the state.The threat should begin in northwest and north central sections at early to mid afternoon and then spread southeastward. Best chances will probably end up being over the western half of the state, but I cannot rule out something in the eastern half as well.

There is some question as to whether storms will be able to develop, along and ahead of the front. This at least seems to be a possibility,and if it does occur, there could be isolated storms with damaging winds.

There is a better chance of thunderstorms in the cooler air behind the front, i.e., after the front has already passed a given area and the winds have shifted to the northwest. In this cooler air, hail will be the main threat, but I doubt that it would be any larger than 3/4 to 1inch in diameter.

All in all, I think conditions are favorable for only isolated severe storms.

The threat of severe weather in all areas should end by mid-evening as daytime heating is lost.

Any rainfall amounts exceeding an inch are expected to be isolated. Best chances for such amounts will be in the western half of the state.This will be the only message for today, as I will be leaving the office shortly. Today, our hydrologist and I will be going to Arkansas and Saline counties to see if we have any tornado damage in those counties from Saturday's storms associated with the remains of Hurricane Rita.

John Robinson
Warning Coordination Meteorologist
National Weather Service, Little Rock Office
Web site: http://nlrelectric.com/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://www.srh.noaa.gov/lzk

BLOPS MAKES ITS FIRST POLITICAL ENDORSEMENT OF A WINNER

A Fish BLOPS caught in the Phillipines

BLOPS feeds our trainees very well. This big assed fish tasted like chicken. UMMMMMMM.
Melroy (BLOPS Biggest shit you ever saw division)

BLOPS finds a Meal

On a recent training mission to a country (can't tell you where), part of our team went out and found lunch for us all. Ummmmmmm, it tasted like chicken. Melroy (BLOPS survival training commander)

Weather Service Storm Early Alert

A cold front promises to bring some thunderstorms into Arkansas Wednesday.

There will be a small chance of severe thunderstorms across about the northern half of the state from the afternoon hours into the evening.

The threat should begin for northwest and north central sections at mid to late afternoon and then spread across the remainder of the northern half of the state during the early evening. It looks as though chances for any severe weather will decrease after mid evening.

Low level moisture will be fairly marginal as the front moves in, so at this point, it appears that any severe weather would be isolated. Hail and damaging winds have about equal chances of occurring.

I will issue the next message on Wednesday morning.

John Robinson
Warning Coordination Meteorologist
National Weather Service, Little Rock Office
Web site: http://www.srh.noaa.gov/lzk
***********************************

Previous dedicated to whiny little Edna. Melroy (BLOPS kiss it division)
PS- these will only be posted if any severe weather is indicated.

Arkansas Yard Art

Reckon' this guy wishes he hadn't done this to his brother's old cement mixer? HA. Go Hogs Go. Melroy (BLOPS wishing Matt was back division)

Ain't this the Guy who watched a video and made a diagnosis? He must've watched a stock swindle video too--

Frist denies wrongdoing in stock sale

By Andrea Stone, USA TODAY

WASHINGTON — In his first public statement since federal investigators began probing whether he violated inside-trading laws, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said Monday he "acted properly" in selling stock in his family's hospital chain. [...]

********************************
Here's another piece of shit. Damn, these guys are some real jewels huh?

Click on the title to read the full story from USA Today- I vote for Frist and Delay to go to Iraq as "contractors" to teach the Iraqi people how to steal and swindle and lie.

Weather Report 2

No change from WR-1.

From a Recent BLOPS training mission-

While on a recent BLOPS Training Mission in the national forest, we came across a beautiful place to take a dip and relax after a hard day of blasting targets. Ever seen this place? Know where it is? (See, they wouldn't let me post any pretty pictures at the other site, but I can here since it is my own.) Melroy (BLOPS amateur photo division)

Would You Believe...

Agent Maxwell Smart has moved along to his new assignment helping St. Peter at the gate. Max will be screening new applicants trying to get in without the proper papers. So long Don, Rest in Peace. 99 will miss you. Melroy (BLOPS Command)

Dog and George

Got an email from my buddy Dog who told me he will be a guest star on the George Lopez show next week. Don't know what night or what time but you'd better watch if you know what's good for you. Melroy

Boob Protest

Jump over to www.GreyHairsBlog.blogspot.com to see about his participation in the protest in D.C. Wish I could be there with him, but I'm on BLOPS command this week. Melroy

Here you go Edna--

Weather Report One

Sunny and warm. Tomorrow, same. Over and out. Melroy (BLOPS Weather Command)

Melroy on Post

Here is Melroy's new site. Piss on them spoil sports. Over here I'll post just what the fuck I want. Melroy (BLOPS ComCen)

Oh, and by the way. Smirking man we still need to bring our soldiers home. They got business here you simpleton. M.